1-800-799-7233

Greys Anatomy.

Before you stop reading, hear me out – it’s not going where you expect.

I’ve been a long time Grey’s Anatomy fan. I started watching for the mindless drama of it all, because – Netflix. As the seasons drug on, I was less interested, but I stayed loyal because I’m invested (I know, I know.)

The show, however, has taken a pleasant twist and has started to hit on some important sociological issues. A doctor revealed himself as transgender; another is a proud Muslim woman who wears a hijab. There is doctor studying the female orgasm, while another just called major attention to the outrageous infant and maternal death rates in the United States and its linkage to unnecessary C-sections. Even in all of this, the one topic that hit home and stood out the most was the episode simply titled: 1-800-799-7233. This number belongs to the domestic abuse hotline.

In the United States 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner. The show hit hard on this topic and portrayed a very accurate victim/abuser situation and I know it struck a nerve for many people – including me. I’ve lived it and I know what it’s like. You are drained of all your worth and your life is not your own. You lose yourself to someone else.

I fear for those who are currently lost or losing themselves - and ever since I watched the episode, I've had thoughts weighing on my mind.

If you’re afraid – if you’re walking on eggshells – I need you to know:

You will feel this damage for a while. Abusive relationships can lead to anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I know it seems like you are needed… but being a rock for someone doesn’t require you to be chipped away at. You can’t support any weight after you become a pebble. Some people are toxic – you won’t change them. You can only be there for someone as much as they are there for you. If you think it’s your job to look out for this person, let me ask you… who is looking out for you?

If your friends have reached out to you – listen - don’t shut them out. It’s what your abuser wants. Your friends are not the enemy. Take time to think about what friendships mean to you; What is your definition of a supportive friend? Is it a friend who only agrees with you and tells you what you want to hear? Or is it a friend who answers honestly when approached for advice? Human beings develop relationships because we are stronger together than we are alone – don’t ever let someone convince you to alienate the people in your life.

Know your worth. And know that the people you’ve pushed away will still be there.

To the cunning, manipulators who steal the spark of others – I see you. You think you have people fooled, but you’d be surprised at how many people know exactly who you are. We all see you. And we won’t let you steal the spark without a fight.